Adelaine is still feeling great. In fact, people have a hard time believing that she is undergoing chemotherapy at all. She is extremely energetic and can keep up with her guys no doubt! The past two Sunday’s she has gone to her Sunday School class and has never been so happy (except maybe at pretend school, we think it’s a toss-up)! There is a little girl named Ella, in her class who is the exact same age. They share the same birthday, and one Sunday, not too long ago, they both had on the same dress. I guess now you could say that they have bonded for life!!!

Last week her counts were at 1,000. Not too bad, but not good enough for her to go two weeks with out another clinical visit. Tomorrow we will go in for a CBC, and next Thursday she gets Vincristine and starts five days of steroids again. We are still going to “pretend school” on Tuesday mornings, and tomorrow night we will all go for their twice monthly dinner and group meeting. Adelaine and the boys love it there so much. It is truly a blessing.

Now that Adelaine has been consistently feeling good and staying out of the hospital, I feel like we are starting to get our lives back in order, somewhat! I’ve had time to sit down at the computer and read all the different emails and messages left for us. Some were in Doug’s email and I was reading those for the first time. Some I know I had read before, but it was like I was reading them for the first time again. All I can say is WOW, THANK YOU! I have never cried so many tears as I have this week. I have wept over the love everyone has poured onto us, I have wept through what all our family has endured and I have wept over the mercy God has shown us. I guess I’m starting to finally come back to life again.

For about 10 months we were on auto-pilot just trying to get through each moment. We really had to stuff our emotions inside as we operated in “crises mode”. I must admit I am having a hard time functioning now that things are better. Once you’ve been on crises mode, it’s hard to remember how to act once things slow down again. I know that must sound weird. The best way for me to describe it, was like I was “tunneling”. Everything around me went dark and all I had was a small flashlight which allowed me to see only the things that were right in front of my face. I was trapped in a deep dark tunnel, trying to cope while I found my way out. I took care of those things that I could see with my tiny little flashlight, and everything else had to be forgotten for a time. Although we are not out of the tunnel yet, I am begining to see some light.

Our focus was on Adelaine of course, and our boys. Being in and out of the hospital certainly helped keep us running at all directions. Once we would come home, by that point we were mentally and physically exhausted, but then we had to really focus on the boys and getting the house back in order. I have prayed many prayers and tried so hard to ensure that Mason and Bowen didn’t feel pushed aside. I know beyond any doubt that they feel very much a part of all this and very loved, that in itself has been a full time job, but one I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. After about a week or two, it was back to the hospital with yet another illness, which brought with it more ups and downs as we waited to see what would unfold. All the while, people were extending more grace and love than we could have ever hoped for. All the prayers did keep us going and did keep Adelaine alive. I believe that with all my heart. I just want to thank each and every one of you for the love and support.

Adelaine has grown up so much since her diagnosis. She went from a toddler to a little girl. It breaks my heart to think of how much life was taken from her during those months in bed, but I am equally amazed at how see seems as if she’d never missed a beat. She is as intelligent, witty and beautiful as I could have ever dreamed my daughter to be.

Recently, Adelaine crawled into bed with me, and I took that opportunity to talk with her about all she’s been through. It was unbelievable, her ability to understand and recap theses month’s events. Keep in mind that we have tried to be very honest with all three children about Adelaine’s illness. We tried to answer each of their questions and concerns. We kept them as enlightened as possible, without giving them all the traumatizing details!

Adelaine remembers being too sick to play with her toys. She remembers being in the hospital, too sick to get out of bed. She remembers so much. I know that some of this will be forgotten, but I hope that she does remember some of it, because it is part of her life and a part of who she is. I asked her questions, and here’s what she had to say about it how she beat cancer…

“I had cancer. Jesus didn’t give it to me, Satan made me sick, very sick”. I almost died but I was strong, Jesus made me strong”. “I beat him (Satan) up, I punched him in the neck, and hit him in the head, and I punched him in the toe, and I kicked Satan in the booty”. “I hit him in the eye, and on the ear, and on the back”!!! She just laughed and laughed as she told the story of how she conquered Satan! Our otherwise soft, meek princess turned out to have what it takes to be a Princess Warrior when it counted.

There is no doubt that if the curtain was pulled back to things unseen we would have witnessed Jesus, many Angels and Adelaine all kicking Satan’s booty! Prayers were lifted, cries of mercy and healing poured out from Heaven. Jesus heard and answered. We are so thankful! Thank you for praying for her and loving her. It took more than what we could have done alone. Please continue to pray, we still have 15 months and 14 days (and counting) to go! There are still many potential hurdles. Many more chemo pills to swallow, many more spinal injections, port accesses, steriods to take, hospital stays to come, antibiotics to consume, tests to be run, and prayers to be prayed.

God bless,
Angela

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